Well no doubt about it either way you do it the outcome is going to be the same right?
You mentioned your counseling session tomorrow is just for you so why not go and bounce your ideas off the therapist. Express the fact that until he chooses to address the real under lying issue working on communication or anything else is pointless right now.
And who says you have to tell him anything right now, plan your exit wisely. Give yourself the time you need to be more prepared financially. You mentioned that you are separated right, so stay separated until YOU are ready.