i won't say whether you are missing something or not, call your sponsor about that.
If you are in finacial trouble, maybe you should seek out the advice from some professionals on that. Same with your "problems" in the relationship, express your willingness to begin attending family therapy with professionals and leave it at that. You should not be forcing anything on anyone for any reason at any time! The more you try to control someone else's life, the more unmanageable you make your own life. Would the results of doing that really be worth it to you? Please relax, trust the God of your understanding to help you both and continue to share about your part in all this. What she does or does not do is irrevelant to your sobriety and your recovery, is it not?