Ok what you are missing is:
You cannot FIX your wife. Just as she could NOT get you to stop drinking, you cannot get her to go to Al-anon.
You've given her the information ...................................... just as I am sure that somewhere in your drinking career she imparted useful information to you, and you did nothing until you were 'sick and tired of being sick and tired.'
Continue to keep your side of the street clean, keep doing the footwork, and slowly the messes you have made over the years will clear up. Your ACTIONS will show her much more than your words.
IF, you continue to work on your own recovery, continue to work with your sponsor, do your steps, incorporate those steps into your daily living, work with others, etc etc etc your life WILL GET BETTER. Of that I am certain. And your life will become different than anything you ever dreamed also.
J M H O from my own ES&H.
CONGRATS on your 137 days!!!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,