Alanon (and personal counseling and SR) has probably saved my life, and certainly my sanity. My STBXAH did not quit drinking until I filed for a divorce, and is currently in AA, but I would not go so far as to say in recovery.
My situation is very different from yours in that Alanon is teaching me the effects of living with an A for 22 years so I don't ever have to go back. More importantly than the effects are my roles and my illness that contributed to the chaos. You will need the same tools to help you to stay in the situation. Living with mine WAS more than I could bear, and I hope never to repeat it......I believe my best shot at that when (and if) I ever have another serious relationship is by attending Alanon and working the steps.
My suggestion would be to give it a chance. All you've got to lose is an hour of your time.