Al -Anon helped me because by going through the steps (the same steps that the alcoholic goes through), I realised that I was very similar to my AH. I can't condense the insights I've gained in Al-Anon into a post because I know that you will get something out of it that is different to what I got. You will hear in the meetings, what you are ready to hear. There is Al-Anon literature to read. When you are ready, get yourself a sponsor and work through the steps. One of the AA slogans applies: If it doesn't work, we will glady refund your misery. I've gained so much confidence especially with steps 2 and 3. My life has turned around.
Al-Anon has helped me forgive my husband but yes, I am still going through post traumatic stress. You have to process what happened and I found I could only do it when the abuse had stopped.