I occassionally drink but for me when dealing with my AS i found it easier to stick to my guns when i was completely sober and he did have a way of throwing it in my face - if she is not using that against you yet then she probably will be soon. so i stopped drinking completely when he was living here. I'm not telling anyone what they should or should not do but for me it was just easier and i found that when my head was always clear that i made better decisions and handled the difficult situations better. now that he's not living here i do have the occassional glass of wine or a beer but never in excess.
also - its not uncommon for addicts to also be co-dependant