Welcome to the SR Family.
Hate so much that you and your children are going thru this! Also hate that your wife has not found true recovery yet - I pray that she will soon.
I hope that you are able to attend the AL-Anon meeting - They have been wonderful for me - Help me to know what was best for me. I have learned - when I take good care of me - then I am helping my family the best that I can. By taking care of me, I mean - learning how to set healthy boundaries, not enable, allowing others to be responsible for their own actions, etc.
It sounded a little weird at first - but it did start to feel a little more comfortable as time went on.
Wishing you and your family prayers of peace and joy,
Keep coming back - don't give up before the miracles happen in you - YOU deserve them!!
Rita