THANK YOU to everyone... after reading all your responses, I knew that I just had to stick to my 30-day clean request, and I insisted on it, despite crying on her part, strong argumentation (a speech about her "rights"), etc. I had to just hang up the phone. Then she started sending me txts saying she would refuse to pay rent, so i began to look into alternative living situations for myself, and let her know that would be the outcome. So, as of this morning, she is willing to "honor our agreement" and will not be welcome home without 30 days clean, period, and must pay rent to hold her spot here. I feel like I did the right thing, although of course I'm terrified. Not to mention, I just spent 1400 on my cat as she needed to go to the hospital for severe obstipation, and since coming home she still hasn't pooed. This might seem trivial to some, but she's like my daughter. My partner and my cat are my family. So financially and emotionally, I'm at a huge loss and very scared.
As for the mj- I can give it up. I'm a weird person and although I have tried most drugs and been temporarily dependent, exhibiting some addict behaviors, I'm not worried about myself in this respect. I am not interested in buying any weed, as it will only make me more depressed and anxious. I'm dealing with this all very soberly. And I can. I'll be sticking around here, so you all will see. Doing it for myself.
Again, thank you all. I'm trying to be strong. I'm doing my best.