Welcome to SR Blue Fraser
I've had no experience in anything like this - I hope other members will find their way here shortly.
Based upon stories I've heard similar to yours tho, I'm glad you've decided on Al Anon tomorrow - if your wife can't or won't act, you still can - it could be one of the best things you can do for yourself and your boys.
Please feel free to look at our Family and Friends of Alcoholics forum if you haven't already too
best wishes to you
D