Hi Stressedout,
I wish I had an answer for you. Everyone is different. We all have our own threshholds of pain I guess. I put up with an A b/f for 8 years eventhough he kept pulling all kinds of garbage on me. The worst thing was that he never let me get close. It's what I wanted the most and the thing he avoided the most. He used to tell me that it was because he didn't want to hurt me. I think it's because he didn't want to be the one who got hurt.
He's been in and out of AA many times over the years. I don't think he ever made it past 90 days. I never noticed much of a change during those times other than he craved ice cream for the sugar content. But then, in his case, I think he had so many other issues to deal with that drinking was only the beginning. Even if he had stopped, there would have been so many other things to deal with that he may never have been able to have a "normal" life.
So, I agree with Whiplash. It doesn't end, it just changes or evolves. What direction it takes is up to the people involved. And, as always, the only person you can control is you.
Gracie