nar-anon in Times Square, thank god!
Hi, my name is Faith. I have been reading this forum for a week or so, and decided to join today. I find it crazy that there are so few nar-anon meetings, especially in nyc... but today there is one after work and I am very much looking forward to it.
My wife (domestic partner) is an addict who has gone back and forth between recovery and using while we've lived together. Her DOC is heroin. When we met, she was on like 7mg methadone and had been on it for several years. I really knew NOTHING about drugs, besides weed or whatever. She moved into my apt. within the year, as well as going off methadone, and by the next summer had a full heroin relapse where she lost her job and i kicked her out of the apt. to go live with her parents.
She movd back after about a month, and got back on methadone (80mg).
This was summer 08.
On methadone, she started using cocaine/crack approx. once a week, more or less.
It finally escalated to where I said (in May) that if you aren't clean by June you must go live elsewhere... thus, she is living with a friend right now, and due to move back in on the 26th, with 30 days clean and in an IOP, which seems to be going good....
I let her stay over this past weekend and then also last night- but last night I caught her huffing. Was like, damn.
I think it is only because of attending nar-anon mtgs. (and al-anon) and reading this forum that I had the strength to kick her out last night. I'm so glad I did! I had heard through a friend that there was a huffing incident last week, and I was too weak to say that it counted against the 30 days clean.
All these technicalities. Mostly, i want to say thanks to the people posting here. reading has helped me tremendously, in terms of recognizing myself, past ignorance and weakness, and present weakness....
Naturally I'm nervous about her moving back in here... I am now insisting on a clean apartment- but here's a question: what do you guys think about the fact that she wants me to quit smoking weed? I am no angel, I will admit that. I really don't relate too much to the "codie" stuff posted. I am not so much of a caretaker. In fact, it's my gal who is the caretaker, if you can believe that. I mean, she's a social worker- a "wounded healer," so to speak. I may have some traits (like, feel panicked and depressed if think about her not staying sober and us breaking up, etc.).... but anyways, should I quit smoking weed for her? Does it really make a difference? I kind of think it does not. But on the other hand, I'm sick of weed anyway and it's a hole in my pocket.
Guess that's it for now. Love to all you guys and gals.