well. I made it through yesterday with only a little anxiety ... (falls down laughing)
we took a cab there even tho it's only 5 blocks, I just couldn't do it on top of having an anxiety attack - arrg
the apt went well and we changed the dosages of meds and I don't have to go off of the one - *whew*
the changes will make me TIRED for a couple days while I adjust to it ..... I feel like my pdoc is FINALLY understanding the level of stress/anxiety/panic I live in and I'm feeling a bit more hopefully that I'll be able to FUNCTION (once I wake up )
I walked home - with ALOT of reststops - but I made it - not much choice actually! either keep walking or stay in the parking lot .... nah ... RAH would've called a cab to take me a block if I had needed it
it's really sweet but it's also part of what got me to where I am now - he pampers me to the point of enabling me and it's really hard to catch it and say "No thank you" - expecially when I'm feeling like hell -
my legs are REALLY SORE today and I have to confess that I haven't been doing my apt laps the last few days - I justified that by saying well, I hurt my back doing exercises and so I'm just not doing any thing til I feel better -(sticks tongue out) -- well -the thing is I'm not going to feel better at ALL if I don't do some everyday - like I have to work the program everyday. ... hmmmmmmmmmm ... just made that connection - sometimes it hurts but you still need to do it anyway or it'll NEVER STOP hurting .... I'll have to think about that
I'm also tryihng REALLY HARD to NOT sit cross-legged cuz it hurts my legs even more. It's a very hard habit to break and it's VERY uncomfortable to sit with my legs straight!
I HATE "getting better" ......
almost as much as I hate being in pain .... I'm learning that sitting in it hurts more tho
Blue