Originally Posted by
firestorm090 
I've noticed a drop in responses to the people like myself who struggle to grasp all that is suggested up front, so maybe we are the stubborn, willful ones who fail to see the way even after the roadsigns point repeatedly in the same direction. I can't be in an AA meeting 24 hrs. a day and I can't be here 24/7, so that leaves alot of time to wallow in hell.
I don't want a drink today, today is day six this time around, but I sure am tired of my thoughts spinning out of control. I spent four hours last night playing card games on my computer just to distract myself from my own thoughts. Maybe some of us are too far gone or maybe that's just another cop-out from my damn alcoholic mind. It's enough to drive ya nuts.
I understand what you are saying about a drop in responses. I sometimes feel the same way myself and I've been a member here for years. However, I think it is really more your mind messing with you than the truth. When you first join, everyone tries to welcome you, give you "newbie" advice, etc. After you've been around for a little while, people aren't going to keep repeating the same thing over and over to you. You will get that to a degree, but people aren't going to argue with you. If you need support you can almost always find it here. I have for years. I know I find myself checking the site many times a day, especially eager for responses to posts I've made, but that is me, not the people here. I'm not sure how much sense I am making here, but please don't think people here will EVER get sick of helping you. I've been in and out countless times and continue to get support from the oldtimers who remember me and newbies as well. Don't let your mind get to you.
BTW, if playing 4 hrs of computer cards is keeping you sober, deal 'em out!!! I've spent (wasted) countless hours with my X-box, especially in the evenings, when I'm in an especially "dangerous" place. That has always been one of my "issues" with meetings is that usually I can't attend due to work in the day, and I'm afraid to leave my house at night for fear that I might not make it to the meeting and end up drinking or getting high. It's gone that way more than once for me. Personally I feel that I need the fellowship the rooms have to offer and I'm going to have to find a way to make it work. Still working on that. Take care, stay sober, and play cards if you need to!!