What you said about a wasted life just jumped out at me.
I guess I could look back and def say the same thing.
I have never done anything with myself. I am 33 and still live at home.
I own nothing and never have.
But I dont see my life as a waste. Even through all the addiciton. I cant say it has been wasted.
I had alot of fun in my addiction for alot of years. Even sometimes when the consequenses were huge. It was fun until that point. I have been through it all and it still hasnt shocked me or scared me strait. I have all but died.
So I wonder WTF is wrong with me too alot.
I cant say that any of my life has been a waste at all. Because even though it was fun. There were alot of lessons learned along the way. And I learned most of them the hard way.
I use to think I was too far gone. I still do sometimes. But not really.
I have seen some that are beyong too far gone. And I agree with Dee. Only because they thought they were and gave up.
Have you ever seen someone who has truly given up?
It is the darkest saddest thing you will ever set your eyes on.
To me too far gone is not when you think you cant get it and never will.
Its when the person seriously and totally gives up and really does not care if they live or die.
They are making every move count toward death on purpose.
Its liek holding a gun to your head and not having the guts to pull the trigger. Screaming for a way out but dont know how. So you kill yourself the only way you know how.... Slowly.
It is the most heart breakign thing to look at.
The extremes I have gone to dont even compare closely to some that I have seen. And I thank Goodness for that.
I dont see myself as wasted time or life. Because out of all that. Came something.
Something that is goin to help me keep going.
I believe everything happens for a reason. And I am not dead or in the street with nowhere to go. I havent given up and there has to be a reason for that.
I look at where I am today and where I could have been had I given up like those poor souls I met in the street. Who most are now dead.
I havent wasted anything...except knowing it all has a purpose somehow.