Ago said what I was thinking
I am wondering if you are dependent on his salary? If so and you do earn some money, start stashing some aside for a rainy day. Money that he doesn't know about and doesn't have axcess to. So if you do need to leave you can.
My Ah is the "bread winner" in our family I am a SAHM. Someone on this board suggested to me that I do what I just suggested to you. It helped me be able and seccure enough to leave when I needed to.
I really thought the same way you did. Many of your words speak right to my heart. I thought "we are a family" familes help each other....yada yada yada... I had to re-learn many things. Many of the things I was doing thinking they were helpful were only prolonging his disease. I thought because my AH was claiming to be "in recovery" that he really was. Al- anon helped Reading "Marriage on the Rocks" helped, coming here helps. I continue to learn and grow.
(((())))