silly billy thank you so much for sharing your story. It takes a person of substance and honesty to stand apart from the crowd, to stand back and judge himself as others would with no excuses. I think the one thing that really hits me about your story is how ready and willing you are to take responsiblity for yourself and your situation, no blubbing, no excuses, no whining - thats pretty cool, you should be proud of yourself for that alone. At the end of the day its who you are that matters and once you get out from behind the tv and have time to smell the grass and feel the sun on your back on a winters day, without being out of it, or scurrying to your next hit even the most simple of lifes pleasures will be joyful!
I gave up pot and booze a month ago, my usual pattern was put my little girl to bed smoke 4-5 joints per night topped up with one/two bottles of wine and a couple of medicinal bed time scotchs. Wake up in the morning after stoner sleep, have a shot of vodka and go for a run.....got to work and then start again. The night sweats did not stop for 10 days and I did not sleep for nearly 10 days - 2 weeks, but once the pot was out of my system, it was gone and I don't miss it... I mean think about it what is there to miss? But the booze has been more difficult and AA has been a huge help. For the first time the clouds are lifting the self confidence is returning and heck I might even grab a social life....but I'm not rushing things. IT IS WORTH IT HANG IN THERE!! P.s. I have stopped feeling like a dementia patient and can actually remember things!!!