Hi Mira, Yeah, I'd say your life is a little unmanageable right now. You obviously need to stop drinking as alcohol is fast ruining your life. I would suggest that you make an appointment with your primary care doctor at let him or her know what's going on. He can help you to detox from alcohol, and you need to do this under medical supervision as it can be dangerous. If your doctor can't help, find another doctor or even go to the ER. After detox you should, if possible, enter a rehabilitation program, preferably an in patient one. But if that's out of the question, start going to as many AA meetings as you can. There are other programs out there, but AA is the one I'm familiar with and can honestly say it saved my life. If you hit a meeting that you don't like, then don't go back to that one. Find meetings that you're comfortable with. And let them know that you're a newcomer. They'll be on you like white on rice. But do something now. Don't put it off. And in any event, let us know how things are going. This is a great group of people who'll share their experience and support.