Originally Posted by
ellima01 
but I am so humiliated that everyone knows he left me to go with a wh**e.
....and you care because? It's HIS shame that you are carrying. I did the same thing, and I learned through counseling how to leave it alone.
When my STBXAH cheated I was embarrassed and ashamed. Why? Because I based my feelings about myself on what I
perceived others were thinking. The truth of the matter is we don't know what anyone thinks, and trying to guess keeps us living outside ourselves.....which is what codependency is. We become chameleons, our moods and actions based on who we are with and what we believe they think.
It's a hard pattern to break, as hard as any addiction. I don't have it perfected, but I think by being aware of when we slip into the old way of thinking we can start to change it to a healthier way. It sounds like you are aware....just don't beat yourself up. It's a process.