Originally Posted by
Ripley 
Hi,
I'm new here and on Day 27 of sobriety. So far just white-knuckling it and taking Antabuse to deter me from drinking, but I'm starting to crave the booze more rather than less as time goes by and realized additional support was needed if I'm going to make it. I've tried AA in the past, and had mixed results. I'm going to give another meeting a try tonight though.
I'm not really good with people so I don't have a lot of real time support. I was a closet drinker so even those who are close to me don't realize I have stopped because they never knew I was drinking as much as I did (hence the reason I spent most of my time alone and the reason I am now coming to the unsettling realization that I literally have no life outside the booze.)
I'm 35 and have been in and out of rehabs and AA since I was 16. I'm currently in graduate school though on summer break, and for the past 20 years my life has pretty much consisted of drinking, writing fiction and reading. That's it. Being sober, I now have a ton more time but no idea how to use it and am definitely not liking the loneliness.
Hi,
Congrats on your 27 days.
I know what you're saying about being lonely and having tons of time. I just stopped pretty recently myself, about 7 weeks ago, after drinking heavily for 5 years. The first few weeks, I had no plan, no idea what to do. Slowly, I am starting to realize there are TONS of things to do. It doesn't come to you in a day, but slowly you will start finding things you actually like and that might interest you. I know I still have some fuzzy thinking at times, but it will get better.
I joined the gym and I am starting a summer course at the Community College next month. I am also finding new hobbies I like and new interests. It's just important you stick with it.
As far as AA, I have mixed feelings about it. I attended a few meetings that I wasn't crazy about. I believe it's the meeting you attend also. Some are probably real good and some are bad, like anything else. I am thinking of giving it one more shot this week. If it's not for you there are other alternatives
Most importantly, you will have time now to develop a relationship with yourself. I am still working on this. It takes time. Finding a good therapist would be very beneficial to you. I am still in the process of finding a good one, it takes some time. Keep posting and reading here, it's extremely helpful and everyone is very supportive.