Thanks all. Your support is very much appreciated - although I feel I've failed.
I get really worried about my loss of control. One minute I will be walking in the sunshine thinking how nice it is to be sober - two minutes later I was in the bar.?? I'm trying for the life of me to identify with what happened.?? There doesn't seem to be a trigger - I remember thinking to myself "woa baby - what you doing.??" but there was another side of me that was shouting "Get a few down your neck and you won't care"
But I do care - I care very much. Another lesson learned I suppose. Sorry - I'm just a bit down today.
Much love
JC