Hey SR,
Thanks again for all of your support. It means alot to this ole drunk that people whom I don't know would be kind enough to reach out and support those of us who don't have a clue what we're doing.
My sponsor showed up and was here for about an hour. He brought a chocolate cake and his BB. I pulled out a couple saucers and coffee cups and we sat in my living room and had a good talk. He recalled his initial struggle with getting sober, his slips back into the insanity of the drink and the neverending support of his sponsor who became his best friend. We talked about several issues that thwart successfully changing one's lifestyle, such as revisiting old haunts and habits, hanging with the old crowd, failure to develop a strong support base and most importantly, failure to use the phone when the desire to drink becomes overwhelming. That's one part that I still don't fully understand, and I told him so, cause to me, when I'm at the point that I want a drink, I don't want to call someone, I want a drink and that's why I fail to call anyone. I guess when you haven't drank for many years, it's hard to remember the real, absolute insanity of pushing everyone and every thing aside for a bottle of beer or booze, because you sincerely think that it is the only answer at the time, regardless of all the evidence to the contrary. Anyway, the experience was not life-threatening, in fact it was very helpful to be able to tell the truth and get past that hurdle. And now I have this huge chocolate cake, which I don't need cause my britches are tight enough already, so I think I'll hide it in the closet for a couple days till the bloat from drinking wears off. On second thought, I can't do that cause all my closets are stuffed with real important stuff, you know, jeans that are two sizes too small, that I hope to fit into next week, duh, why do I keep all this stuff? Guess it's time for a real spring cleaning around here, but since the spring is almost over, it will have to be quick. Hmmm, there I go, rambling again. Must be time to do something.