The path to this willingness can be long and hard. Many of us have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. We need to see, over and over again, that the coping device that once protected us is no longer useful.
Realizing that some of my defects of character had once served a purpose helped me in recognizing them and working through them. When I can put aside emotion and look rationally at myself I can take such reactions one by one and think about why I act and react in such ways. It has helped me to see I no longer need those old behaviors and I can turn the nonrecovery defect into a recovery asset with the help of a higher power.