dixied,
I can imagine if I was in your situation my anxiety could be high wondering if I did the right thing. But looking back on the past doesn't do much for us today. At the time, with the situation at hand, you and your husband did the best you could with what you knew. I would try not to be hard on yourself wondering if you went to far. Ultimately it is your son's responsibility to stay clean and on the path of recovery. Your involvement could have helped him or hindered him, but there's no way to really know at this point and it seems from what we know it has helped him.
I'm sorry he doesn't stay in contact with y'all as much as you would like. Perhaps that will change in the future, or maybe it won't.
I guess all I can say is that in the future, don't let your anxiety about his situation compel you to do things for him that he could and should do for himself.
If you genuinely help him, make sure that you can emotionally, physically afford to do so and that its not going to hurt you later down the line should he decide to use again.
I always try to help the addicts in my life with the mindset, 'If he goes out and uses next week am I going to regret this?'
If I am then I decide not to do it because it seems to me that my helping is really my form of trying to control the situation.
I'm putting a condition on my helping by wanting him to stay clean because I helped him.
Sorry for rambling I'm not sure if it makes sense but I just wanted to say that I will be thinking about you and your family.
You sound like you're doing a wonderful job. Just remember to put yourself first. Take care of you. That beautiful woman inside you is most important and when you nurture her, everything else will fall into place.
Keep us updated!
Love,
Holly