I can certainly understand your resistance. I had to get absolutely desperate before I picked up that phone and made an appointment. Even then, I considered not going. It's much like the A who tries to quit on their own. Some can do it, but most have to admit they need help. I also notice that what I can afford or what I have time for is directly connected to how bad I want it.
We all have to find our own way. Best wishes to you on your journey. I hope you find a way that works for you.
L