Thanks for all the kind words. Yeah, I fooled myself into thinking that I could keep things under control. And the first few times I drank it worked out great. I'd have 2 and then quit, no problem. But then I convinced myself I could have a few more than 2, and before I knew it I'd be (as a Rad44 stated) in blackout mode.
I think my reasoning for wanting to start drinking again in the first place is my fear of being left out. Alcohol had become so ingrained in me and in my lifestyle that not being able to do it had me feeling like I was on the outside looking in. I so wanted to still be a part of it all (and still do to some extent) that I fooled myself into thinking I could do it in a controlled manner. Well, lesson learned. I now know that I can't.
The next phase in my life has begun. And that phase is trying to figure out how to get by without the drug that kept me "socially afloat" for so many years. It'll be a long and hard fought journey, but I am confident that this time around I will conquer this demon.