Lindsay, i'm the same, I joined here a year ago, my longest run was 3 months sober and then my mind decided that I had to fight for my right to drink, and everyone else was just overreacting and I didn't have a problem.
When I resorted to hiding booze in my closet so I could take a drink every so often without being noticed, I couldn't hide from the fact at how ridiculous i'd become.
I don't want to be that person.