Nowwhat, I hear you in that department. I don't think I have any true desire to live a "conventional" lifestyle, to cohabitate or marry. I don't think, although I desire a man in my life, that I can venture there... maybe never again. When the AXBF first left I was dashing around in my head to find someone to replace him (ah, but that would mean another A, or abuser) today, even though I have MANY options I would rather not.
I am doing pretty good on my own. I come and go as I please, I am responsible for my own choices (which I always was, but with input we seem to sway in our choices), I sleep when I want, eat when I want, go out when I want, and answer to NO ONE!. No one says how horrible, terrible, etc etc I am (although none of it was true) I wouldn't let a FRIEND treat me like I let the men in my life treat me, and from here on out NO ONE, will EVER treat me less then I deserve. I will evict each and every person in my life (family or not) who disrespects me.
I too feel that I used the AXBF as much as he did me, so I didnt have to pay the piper. (Being a single Mom, paying my own way, taking FULL responsibility for success of failure, and on and on).
We are on the right track. Now to keep that in action and not let inaction take what we so hard strived for.