Originally Posted by
GiveLove 
"Counseling for myself" was the thing that really helped me figure out what I wanted, what I would tolerate, and what I would do when my boundaries were crossed.
I know it's a scary thought: I might actually have to DO something about this?
This.
I am barely on the other end of this. Individual psychotherapy (took me a long time to find the right therapist) was the ONLY thing that enabled me to see clearly, and therefore, to take action to change my situation.
I lived with the manipulation for so long that I could no longer trust myself, my instinct, my gut feelings. I take responsibility for this.
A good counselor can help you tap into your 'core self'.
In my initial sessions, all I talked about was him, him, him. Now, I am learning to focus on me. What do I want my life to look like.
All couples have some amount of friction, but just how hard should it be?
Originally Posted by
anvilhead time much better spent than trying to rationalize with the irrational!!!
Word.
Sometimes it takes a while to see this. Again, emotional manipulation is a powerful thing. They hook you in to get their needs met. It's a way of controlling.
Don't bite the hook.
What are your needs? Can you imagine where your energy would go if you were not focused on AH's behaviors?
I recently realized that I haven't been fully present with my children because I was always looking at what AH was doing, or not doing.
Now, I'm learning to be present in the moment. To live now.
come back here often. we do care and know what you're going through!