Agreed - I'd consider that horrible and abusive. Not to mention complete bull****.
"Counseling for myself" was the thing that really helped me figure out what I wanted, what I would tolerate, and what I would do when my boundaries were crossed.
I know it's a scary thought: I might actually have to DO something about this?
But my life changed radically for the better when I took that step.
Hugs, foggy
GL
