Serenity, oh how I know.
I agree with Greet. It's time you take healthy care of yourself. Do something for you. And as my sponsor says, it always helps when I get outside of myself, do something for someone else, too Now those two things sound a bit contradictory, but both work for me.
I remember when I was in my worst period of dispair, my job actually saved my sanity. I had to go to work and I had to focus on something other than my AD. As much as I'd love to NOT have that job, it was a blessing in disguise.
You've been at this recovery thing for a while now and so have I. I just posted about a relapse for me and this is after nearly 7 years working a program. All this just shows me that there will be good days and then days when I'm just not at the top of my game. But the good thing is that I know what I need to do to get myself back on the recovery train. Make my meetings, call a recovery friend, read my recovery material, spend time in prayer and meditation, realize that when I'm obsessing about someone else I'm losing the good in today.
Yeah, yeah, I know you've heard all that. I just thought I'd tell you and it might serve as a gentle reminder (plus I need to hear it myself...
).
Hugs and prayers. You're going to be okay...I just know.
Hangin' In