Hi izero!
This site has been my lifeline too. Next to an alcoholic person I felt so alone, I have never felt so alone in my life, having the body of the guy I loved next to me, but behaving in horrible ways. Its the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde syndrome, sober they are the best friend and partner, drunk they are this other person you have nothing to do with and in my case..scares you. Its very frustrating when you reach out to "close ones" and they do not understand. But all the caring souls around here understand 100%!
Alanon, individual counseling, the Melody Beatty books, journaling, SR, extra care on food, good sleep, exercise, artistic activities, family and friends / all build a great support net. I hope you reach out and use all the "support artillery" available.
(((hugs)))