Hi everyone, This week has just about done me in. I feel so unsettled, feel my recovery is really suffering.
At work, I feel so much anxiety, the bitterness between the 3 bros & the 1 who left is thick. At times I feel they are taking their bitterness out on me. So of course, I finally blew.
Then there's my AD. When she relapsed at few weeks ago, I felt I handled it very well. Then when we talked last friday, she was very depressed, wanted to die, said she didn't know if she wanted to be clean (she would have had 6 mos today), and didn't want to go to meetings the rest of her life. Again, I felt I handled it okay, offered to drop her off at the hosp, she refused, then told her I loved her & hoped she would chose life. The next day she went to an AA conference and said she felt very inspired. Also made an appt with her doc for weds.
Weds, I won't go into all the details, bottom line, she took a handful of pills and her H called the cops. She was escorted to the hosp. Yesterday, her H called me to inform me that she was being admitted to another hosp for 3 day evaluation. Been there & done that b/4......so of course my mind set is that how will that help.
Meanwhile, I had taken on the job of GR for my home group.
At this moment, I feel so over-whelmed, so frustrated, and just plain sick at heart. I'm using the tools of the program, but feel like I've just been talking the talk, instead of walking the walk. I just don't feel I can handle this stuff again.
