Hey spirited, I understand your hurt. Ex AH kept stuff HE KNEW was really meaningful to me- and he broke one cup, with all the intentions to do so. Not a single apology for that.
But you know what, its just stuff. Precisely for this, for this total selfishness and lack of remorse, I chose not to be with him any longer. Precisely for this manipulation you are better off moving as away from him as possible.
And this is just about stuff. Now translate this selfishness and lack of remorse to emotions, and you've got hell.
You are better off without him, spirited. I am sure I am not the first person to tell you this. It hurts a lot to wake up to the truth of one person. Manipulators do that, they appear as wonderful people, then when you believe in them they start acting as their real selves. Of course, next time, you really need to know the person - take a lot of time, so you are sure of who you are dealing with.
Its just stuff. The plate with the Serenity prayer is not nearly as important as you living the message it conveys. I agree, find another one. Or paint a plate yourself. Find something even MORE meaningful!
I know this is a painful process, I hope you start counseling or therapy, so you are able to learn from all this, and it does not happen again.
Also, I do not think its martyrdom to feel hurt because another person's acts. What he is doing has no excuse, its his 50%. I agree any healthy adult would respect your time and give you back your stuff. I agree expectations have not been met, and that hurt is valid.
But I also agree that you need to see your 50%, see why you trusted someone capable of this. Why were you attracted to this person? That is the main question.
Anyhow, we are not psychologists (at least I am not, I am a network engineer LOL) so I wouldn't dare saying what is going here, I just know I do not want you to hurt any longer. Specially for a guy like this one. He is just not worth it.
We are rooting for you!
Sandra