I think it depends on how much exposure the kids had to mom's problem and how much they've been affected. I have a 15 yr old step-granddaughter, 'H' who has lived with her father since she was 8 (he married my daughter when the girl was 12); prior to that time 'H' lived with her mother who was an addict/alcholic, my granddaughter was pretty much taking care of her own mother by the time she was 6-she was exposed to a LOT of cr*p--yelling screaming ==violence--abuse by the mother and mothers men etc; and by the time I met 'H' when she was 10 she was more grown up than many adults I've known. When 'H''s mom finally got into treatment it was helpful for "H' to take part in the recovery. But in a routine situation I would not involved the kids.