Insomnia & Family Night
Day four, so far so good.
Except I haven't really slept since the start. The first few nights I popped a few Advil PM's which used to do a pretty good job when I couldn't sleep. Tuesday and Wednesday I wake up after about 2 or 3 hours sleep each night thinking this is to be expected. Wednesday afternoon I see the doc about getting something for the anxiety and he writes a script for Paxil. Cool, I know this takes some time, but the the psychological effect of taking something for it starts to ease the knot in the stomach. I realize even at the time it could be a sugar pill, but at least it's something. I fully expect good sleep last night, but no, same deal. I wake up a zombie this morning, sleepwalk through a quick meeting, then come home to nap before having to pick the kids up from school. As you can tell, I'm typing and not napping. I lay down and close my eyes and nothing. Lights on, lights off, music on softly, dead silence, TV news on in the background, doesn't matter. The more I lay there the more I realize it's useless. I get up, and realize I've got to go lay down. It's family night tonight so I'm lugging the kids out to the meetings, I'm thinking about putting some coffee on and trying to lug through the rest of the day. My brain is simply too active to allow sleep this week I guess.
As I've written before, I fully support my wife in her 4 week program, and they have strongly encouraged bringing the kids to family night. From what I understand there is a guest lecturer talk about the effects of alcohol on the family, then they go their way and the families go the other, then we all get together again for another portion. I have a problem with this. My kids are way to young to understand what the hell they are talking about. They don't even understand the concept of alcohol or alcoholism. And they shouldn't! They know that mommy is going to a special place because she has a sickness and that she is going there to get herself healthy again so she can be a good mommy to them. If they we're 10, 12 , 15 years old then I'm all for it, but not 2nd grade, 1st grade, and pre-kindergarden. I can't help but think they are going to use them as some kind of a prop to make her feel guilty about her drinking. I don't mind being a prop, and will in fact get a chance to explain what effect her drinking has had, but I don't want them to use my children that way. Especially because it's not just our family, it's a whole group of families that will undoubtedly be talking about the situations in their houses, likely more frankly than I would like my kids to hear. Too much exposure for them, like letting them see a very real and scary PG-13 movie. What does everyone think?