I was told I used/drank because I WANTED to. I was told I have a CHOICE and if I used/drank, that was my choice. You could've chosen to dump that booze down the drain, but you chose to drink it instead. I hope you keep going to meetings. Meetings won't stop you from drinking. It is still your choice. But I get a lot of support from my fellow AA-ers and am so grateful for them. I hope you start to make the right choices, too.