ok, so that didn't go well. I went to a meeting last night and it was fine, but I still had booze at home and I drank last night. The plan was to dump it down the drain. too much temptation, I guess. Now house is alcohol free, I just have to get myself there without stopping anywhere. I have an appt with a therapist I've been seeing after work.
I want to be sober, but keep sabatoging myself even as I am doing recovery things. Do I just not want it enough? Maybe that is part of addiction and the addicted brain, or I am just making excuses to drink.....I don't know what to think anymore.