Originally Posted by
RobinsFly 
Yes, all me. Because I am the one who doesn't want to continue couples counseling. I am the one who "shuts him out". I am the one who is never satisfied.
All words from AH.
Past problems, AH seems to recognize his part. Yet, I can't count how many times I heard that he acted such and such a way and checked out w/ alcohol because I "rejected" him.
He's sort of like, "I stopped drinking, everything is fixed, let's just learn how to communicate now"
Ah yes, I'm familiar with all this. I too thought we should both get individual counseling (I already was) before trying to do marriage counseling. He told the marriage counselor (and me) that he didn't need any individual counseling, that he wouldn't even know what to discuss with one, that it was me who needed help.
Mine didn't say I rejected him, he said I disrespected him by daring to *gasp* tell him he was wrong in front of the kiddo. Ah well, act like an ass, get treated like you're an ass. Total cause and effect there - but lost on an alcoholic I'm afraid.
Bottom line in my opinion: You either go along with couples counseling, or you don't. I couldn't. I could not physically sit in there and listen to his lies, his made up fantasy of history, etc. I couldn't do it.
Asking him to get counseling is a small thing, IMHO.
So, if you don't do couples counseling then what?