spiritedgrl123

Today has been yet another day of struggle but I do see light, and know that the only way to it is through it. I haven’t called/emailed EXABF yet to tell him he can come and get his stuff on Thursday, but will tonight. For some reason I have actually been thinking about being there when he comes to get his stuff. Why should he get to walk away without any discomfort when I am feeling like this?? Still heart sick over how it all came about. He should have to feel some pain in it too, why make it easy on him?

I haven’t received a child support check for my son in almost a month, money is SUPER tight as I just put him in braces 2 mths ago, so today I decide to call his father (whom has only seen him once when he was 3 weeks old, and whom I haven’t spoken to in almost 9 years) His father answers the phone and we ACTUALLY talked. It was funny but a lot of the anger and resentment I have had for him all these years was just gone, and all I wanted was him to see that his son needed support. He assured me that if Unemployment doesn’t take it out of this upcoming check-he will call them and have it taken care of. (of course this was AFTER I reminded him that per our court order HE is responsible for HALF of all uncovered dental expenses) The worst part of it is the Company he worked for went under so he is without a job in this economy. We even talked about maybe him seeing his son and what that would mean, etc. It was just a conversation I could not imagine having with him BEFORE AlAnon.

I’m still stressed over finances but I have been a single mom for 12 years and God has always provided for us. I’m heartbroken over the EXABF and wish that all of that mess was behind me instead of looming ahead, but I know the only way to it is through it. And I found out last night that my son wants to go with a friend Friday night and Sat night, so it looks like I am on my own for my first Memorial Day without the EXABF. What I’ll do I have NO IDEA, other than get my butt to my Friday night meeting…

I just can’t pull myself out of this funk this week, maybe that is why I am thinking of being there when he comes. Maybe I am thinking he’ll see me and want things back the way they were last summer before we both went crazy….

Any ESH would be awesome….thanks:praying