first day.....again
I am trying this again starting today. I've been sober before for 4 years, but relapsed and have only had a few short periods of sobriety, like a month here and 2 months there, in the past 7-8 years. I really think if I don't stop now I will die from this. At this point, after many, many relapses, I don't know if I can and that scares me. And it scares me to think of living without alcohol to buffer emotions, or not feel at all, or not feel loneliness.
Planning on going to a meeting after work, a little ashamed to show my face there again, starting over again, but not so much I won't go. Seeing a counselor and psychiatrist and taking some medication to reduce cravings, maybe use Antabuse as well. I want to maximize my chances of success, cause if I can't quit and stay quit this time, I really don't know what I'll do.