more then two months I quitted unconditionally with drinking alcohol, enabler to my drug of choice. This was pretty easy.
More then one month ago I quitted smoking marihuana, my drug of choice. This was a hell of two weeks. About one week later I found out i am a hyper sensitive person. This explained my problems with drugs, life and people. It explained my search for spirituality, truth and inner peace.
I had the whole 25 years of my life fitted together in the last two or three weeks ago.
Altouhg it is not wise in the first phases of recovery to date, I met a nice girl. Thank god my hapiness is not depending on her, otherwise she could become a spiriual substitute for drugs and problems. I actually told her that she was coming in my life at a bad time, and that i need space and time to get things together. I will break things up if necessary, my recovery is number one. Allready lost loads of friends and i just can't be bothered
.
Realised my mind and life are in continues overdrive. now i'm learning to take step back. Using drugs made my to 'open'. Now i'm closing and healing my soul. Sounds silly, bit it is the only way for me to describe it.
Anyways, today i didn't smoke sigarettes either. So I finally made it once again, to a true and pure day one. I did drink some cafaine, but i now reconizge my overcompensating behaviour so i can keep it under control.
Im happy, gratefull and content for my path of suffering the last half year or so. It made me so truth and guidance.
love,