Abundance,
I hope everything works out about your house. Sending a prayer for that.
My status:
My RABF who relapsed (I am 98% sure) after 10 years in recovery from heroin and ran and would not communicate with me in any way.....is still silent after 2 years and 10 months. He still has some of my things.
And I still watch for him on the horizon. I have not let go.
But I have been in intense codie recovery since he left (not my first codie recovery, either) and am a changed woman, inside and out. It was time for me to face life's dark side head on.
Therapy 2 hours a week, some al-anon, reading on here every day.
I HAVE NOT tried to find out where he is or what he is doing. He had a lot to lose by relapsing, including custody of beautiful children. But I do not try to find out anything.
I work at home and am lonely quite a bit, but I tell you, I am so much deeper, wiser, empathetic, and intuitive than I have ever been. The solitude and reflection and the work in therapy has changed me for the better.
If I were with him these last 2 years and 10 months, I would have drowned.
Everybody trust your Higher Power.