Wow, some of these sound familiar!
I'll add:
1. "I drink because you spend all your time with the kids and none with me". (Were talking about an infant and a three year old).
2. "I'm a lot of fun when I drink." (He is the only one who has "fun", most other people are embarassed and seem to "disappear" after a few of his "fun" episodes. I've had people tell me how embarassed they were to be around him in public).
3. "I don't have a problem like a lot of other people I know".
4. "Fishings no fun unless your drinking".
5. "I like going somewhere where everybody knows my name. It's like Cheers"! (Now that was a realistic show, wasn't it?) :shrug: