I like this thread - good idea.
Currently, I am in the throws of therapy once a week. This week I am to let her know all the things I want/need in my life. Write them down, as well as journal and then share in therapy. When I start to write or think about these things, I become anxious and depressed. I have known now (as well as saw it happening) just how much I have lost myself and my life. I feel like I am in the throws of PTSD from my co--dependency. Just thinking about it all brings it all right back up for me. I know it's so many steps forward and so many steps back..... but these backward steps just take me down. I don't want to focus on me ... I don't want to think about me... it's SO DANG HARD! I'm 36 years old and I am not at all where I thought I would be at this age.
There is a very good chance that I'm going to lose my house... per being back in the job market. I stayed in a job that I shouldn't have in - and it just all blew up in my face. It's self sabotage. Self - sabotage is the term I used with my abf.... telling him that is what he did. We would go around and around in circles..... questioning if it was fear of success or failure. I would just say quit thinking about it and JUST DO IT. I'm not able to take my own advice.
My guy is doing really well in comparison to where he was a year ago. He is taking care of his mental health, he is not using, he still lies from time to time (which doesn't help me AT ALL, and just feeds my codieness and insecurities) - but it is so much better for HIM. For me, I am now going through the PTSD and struggling.
Anywho- that is the status update from me. I hope my next one will be more positive and showing steps that I'm doing to help myself and for myself.
~ Peace xo