I can see that she's really hurt.
Did you hurt her, or did she hurt herself and now is experiencing the natural consequences of her own actions? Think long about that.
I know I can't expect to get it right every time, right away, but I still feel really upset with myself.
No, you can't get it right every time, because you are human and humans make mistakes and humans aren't perfect. Can you give yourself permission to be human? I sometimes have to say it out loud to myself. Hubby will come home and hear me muttering something like "I'm such an idiot! No. No! I'm NOT an idiot, I am human and humans make mistakes and I have the right to be human." Thankfully, he chimes in with me and tells me things like "If you were an idiot, you would have....(something that would have made things really really bad - or something that would have allowed my parents to control me).
I, too, really cringe when mother's day is coming up. I cringe at the commercials they run, I cringe at the sappiness. I would really like to meet an adult whose mother was anything like what they describe in the commercials. So I remind myself that the commercials are designed to sell stuff, by guilt, by fantasy, in whatever way they can. And just like the burger you get at McD's doesn't much resemble the perfect one they show in the ads (they never show the patty half off the bun with the cheese melted to the little box), no 'real' mother is going to resemble what they describe in the ads. She's the Lady of the Lake, a purely fictional character.
The real mothers out there, well, some are better than others. I adore my mother-in-law. When my life is stressful and I'm getting frustrated, I'll tell Hubby "I want your mommy." (not "my mommy", his) She was not a perfect parent, and he has a few scars, but overall, she's raised two very healthy children and she is a great tonic for my emotions. She also gives me hope - she came out of a rather dysfunctional family, and turned into a wonderful (not 'normal', but wonderful) adult. I can too.
I wish you strength to get through this day, and focus to stay centered on yourself and your needs. I'm trying to nurture those sentiments in myself as well.
You are not alone.