Originally Posted by
rubbersoul 
44 days. Been finding the feelings of loss really hard to cope with lately. I have moments where I forget about my new sober life and when I remember that I can't have alcohol ever again I get this horrid sinking, almost nauseating, feeling in my stomach and I feel like life is pointless. When did these grief like feelings start to abate for you, or do you still get them?
Suprisingly, to me anyhow, you're the first person I've heard who's mentioned the feeling when you suddenly realise 'never again'...it was part of the reason i relapsed the second time. Sort of figured, hell if it is never again gimmi' one last score (yep...the famous 'last' score).
I still get those moments...but heard this quote the other day: 'You never get over it, only used to it'. A month ago i'd have thought that was a pretty grim message, but now I am getting used to it, very slowely, and yeah, it has got better. Real slow, but its happenning.
I know if i was near gear i'd not stand a chance, and it took me a long time to admit that, but long as i know i've distance between me and gear then the idea of 'never again' is getting less...well, sickening.
Sometimes its even a relief
All the best, mate
