Feeling needy
I haven't posted in a very long time. I've been coming here since January when I had my last drink. SR has been my support since then, however, I have reverted to mostly reading (occasionally responding), but I feel like I need your support today more than ever. The perfect storm is brewing inside me and I'm hanging on by a thread.
Fridays were always my binge-drinking days. After a tough day of finals at school until 9 last night -- bed at midnight -- up at 4:30 and worked all day, needless to say I'm quite tired. But, my husband decided yesterday that he and some "friends" were going to a movie after work. So now I'm alone (red flag -- opportunity). The problem is, this movie idea seemed suspicious for many reasons, one of them it's out of character for him to do this. There are more but reasons but the bottom line is I'm uncomfortable with it as I also think I've caught him in a lie.
So now I'm really crawling in my skin and the voices aren't talking to me about having a drink -- they are shreiking. I'm ready to cry. I have walked to the door in an effort to go to the store several times. I have gotten dressed and undressed. I'm really struggling. I know I should go to a meeting or something but it's not something I can do right this second so here I am -- humbly reaching out...