I honestly have to say the biggest difference in how I feel now vs. when I was on subs is definitely related to emotions. Subs, while they don't get you high, per se, they do definitely keep you on a very even-keel, emotionally. The 'lows', especially, get blunted by subs. I never shed a single tear while on subs, I doubt I would've been capable except in the absolute worst of circumstances (like my mom, dad, sibling, or cat dying). Nowadays, my eyes well up with tears just listening to certain songs.
It's not that I'm more sad in general being off dope/subs, far from it, actually, but I have the ability to just ... feel things ... quite a bit more acutely. It does make you feel a bit more connected to the world and the people in it, which is a good thing. But it helps to have some recovery work under your belt, otherwise, the foreign-ness of uncomfortable feelings can definitely be a big trigger. You need to have some tools. That's why I think the meetings and fellowship and step-work are still helpful, even when you're on subs. They will take on a new meaning for you when you are not, though. That is all
