The addiction agency that sent me to rehab also sent me to one of their counselors. (as follow up after rehab) I was blessed in that she is well worth her salt and completely trustworthy and very ethical. You could look up substance abuse agencies in your area and give them a call. I am also blessed in that my counseling is free due to my income.
As far as 'bad' counselors go, if I'd run into anyone who creeped me out or spoke to me inappropriately or in bad language, I'd be reporting him/her to their superiors. They should not be allowed to get away with such behavior. A counselor is a very personal choice, and if you get one you're not comfortable with, get another one. There are lots of good ones out there just waiting to be found.
A good therapist doesn't just listen, they offer another perspective as a 'third party', one who isn't a friend or relative (whose opinions can be influenced just by being a friend or relative). You could contact a counseling/addiction agency and ask for anonymous recommendations on some of their counselors. I really don't know what to tell you about how to find a good one, as I was truly blessed to find not only a good shrink, but a good addiction counselor as well.
All the best to you both!:ghug2