Originally Posted by
collinsmi 
Womens' meetings sound like an excellent idea. Might want to find closed big book or step studies too. If you can't get to that right this moment, might try listening to this:
http://www.xa-speakers.org/speakers/...conf200232.mp3
Got some interesting things to say about your (our) condition. Some good ones right near the end.
First off, thank you again for posting that...I listened to the whole thing fully...and there are some points that really hit home with me.
Early in when he was speaking, he mentioned switching to different kinds of alcohol...I noticed I've done that a few times... I would go from Vodka, to Whiskey, then maybe some wine, and by some wine, I mean a big bottle...Just thought that was really interesting.
I also liked the part where he talked about his feelings always being hurt...feeling like people are always hurting him, and feeling like he was always being patronized...I've definitely felt that way...
A few things really hit home with me...Towards the middle of his speach, when he was talking about the phenomenon of craving.."When I drink I'm in a different mode" Also he was saying that when that feeling starts to fade you instinctively drink more to maintain that craving...I know that's why I would keep pounding down another shot...to hold that edge...that feeling that things aren't as bad as they seem, and when I was drinking I always had a glimmer of hope and a feeling of strength...When I stopped the hope was gone and the weak feeling came back...That is the psychological addiction for me...He was a great speaker and very on point about alot of things...
He had also said..."Give me a way to get the edge without drinking, and I will do it". I can't say how many times I've thought that to myself...I used to say to myself, if only there was another way to get this feeling I would stop drinking...
"I don't drink because I'm a drinker, I drink because I'm a feeler"...I also found that very thought provoking and interesting...
I think what struck me the most was when he said, alot of people say I'm sober now and it's so great, and his response is.."When I get sober and clean up, that's when it gets painful"...
He brought out alot of great points, especially when he was talking about the feelings of discontent and restlessness, which I always seem to have...alot of what he said sounds like me...It's nice to know there are people who understand exactly what I'm feeling.
Thank you again for that...if you have any other links, I will be sure to listen.